The end has ended and the beginning has not begun. So here I am in the middle place between the two.
Faster than I could blog about it, my new life in Seattle came and went. A little more than a month ago, my relationship of four-plus years disintegrated, I quit the farming job that I struggled to like all season, and I packed up my shabby Honda Civic and moved back to Colorado.
As I struggle with embarrassment and disappointment that the life I envisioned for myself (and my relationship) in Washington most certainly did not go according to plan, sitting down to write about yours truly feels like torture.
But here I am. Because A) I pay for this website and if I don't show up here every once in awhile, it's a big fat waste of money and B) Embracing my new life as a single lady on a journey of self discovery means conquering my fears, exploring my creativity, and becoming a rich and famous blogger in the process.
Part of the reason it is so hard for me to show up here and write is that in the upheaval that is my life, my identity as "farmer" has been rocked. A big part of the niche and narrative I was creating here was tied to what was happening in the fields I worked and the produce I brought home to my kitchen. Without a farm or kitchen to call my own, I'm left trying to redefine myself and this blog space. Now that my life is significantly less grounded (a terrifying and disorienting reality, despite how much Pema Chodron I read), I'm trying to embrace the sweetness of the season wherever I happen to be at the moment.
And where do I happen to be at the moment? Glad you asked. After a month of galavanting around the country (Moab, Steamboat, Paonia, Pennsylvania, New York City), I've landed in Hotchkiss, CO. Where is that you ask? The middle of nowhere. But more on that later.
For now, enjoy some pics I snapped on a farm that happens to be on top of a roof in Queens (thanks for the tour Brooklyn Grange!)...
...also, a list of good recipes I made recently but didn't make up....
The Life Changing Loaf of Bread from My New Roots. Seriously, it changed my life.
Chickpea Shwarma Dip and Kale White Bean Artichoke Dip from the Minimalist Baker. (Thanks Matt and Emma for getting a Vitamix for your wedding and then letting me move in with you so I can play with it)
Vietnamese Chicken Soup with Rice from Elizabeth Street Cafe via Bon Appetit. Ok, ok. I didn't make this, my mom did. But I told her what kombu was. Also, it's more like a porridgey glop than a soup, but don't let that dissuade you.
Braised Chicken with Chickpeas and Swiss Chard with Marinated Onions and Brown Butter Couscous from the October issue of Bon Appetit. Once again, more my mom's doing than mine, but it was such a production we needed the two of us to pull it off. Was it super tasty? Def. Would I ever make couscous involving that many steps again? Likely not.